ways to annoy the avengers
by SuperWhoLockiansAssemble
Summary: a list of ways in which to annoy Natasha, Clint, Tony, Bruce, Steve, Thor, Loki, Nick and Coulson! (Now includes other marvel characters as well!)
1. Natasha

HOW TO ANNOY NATASHA ROMANOFF:

1\. replace her weapons with plastic ones

2\. hide said weapons

3\. constantly tell everybody publicly that you ship Clintasha (while shes in the room)

4\. put pink hair dye in her shampoo

5\. nickname her Nat

6\. follow her around with the James Bond theme tune on full blast

7\. find a language she doesn't speak

8\. talk endlessly in said language

9\. get her to learn said language

10\. convince her that it was made up and that she wasted her time


	2. clint

WAYS TO ANNOY CLINT BARTON:

1\. call him Hawkey

2\. say you ship Clintasha in a room full of people

3\. paint his favourite bow pink

4\. convince the avengers to call to him by means of hawk noises

5\. change his alarm noise to hawk and eagle calls

6\. find out dirty secrets

7\. use said secrets to blackmail him into saying caw caw randomly

8\. stick feathers to him

9\. convince him they grew over night

10\. use the placebo affect to make him think he is high, then unleash him into SHIELD


	3. tony

WAYS TO ANNOY TONY STARK

1\. set jarvis' voice to Jedward's

2\. stick hello kitty stickers over his suits

3\. speed up all of his music so it sounds weird

4\. send him weird encripted messages

5\. feed him pure caffeine then release him into society

6\. paint his suits rainbow

7\. install "i would walk 500 miles" on a loop into all of his suits, with no way of stopping the song

8\. buy him a set of avengers action figures then say, "apparently they dont make ones of you, yours werent popular"

9\. watch titanic with him and laugh when he cries at the end

10\. place doughnuts just out of reach of him, all week

**writers note: i have nothing against "i would walk 500 miles". i got the idea from a friend hating it**


	4. Steve

WAYS TO ANNOY STEVE ROGERS:

1\. Sing "captain America throws his mighty shield!" Every time he does so

2\. freeze a cpt America action figure in ice then leave it in his fridge

3\. Find out what movie he's catching up on, THEN RUIN THE ENDING

4\. Call him "captain New York and those other states"

5\. Sew rainbows onto his suit

6\. Shout out, "look it's captain America" in public.

7\. Film the chaos as fangirls swarm over him

8\. Play this over regularly

9\. Make him drunk then dare him to paint the whole of the flag on himself

him bagels are pronounced bah-gulls. (Britta from Community says it like that)


	5. thor

WAYS TO ANNOY THOR ODINSON:

1\. Draw on mjolnir with Sharpies (preferable something humiliating)

2\. Flirt with Jane endlessly in front of him

3\. Get Jane on a blind date with anyone other than Thor

4\. Remind him how he'll probably outlive Jane

5\. Tell him Loki still doesn't like him

6\. Dye his hair to something unnatural

7\. Dye his hair black and say, "finally, you and Loki look related"

8\. Sing 'hammer time' every time he picks up the hammer

9\. Convince him poptarts are now not being sold, ANYWHERE.

him high on caffeine. Unleash him into the public


	6. loki

WAYS TO ANNOY LOKI LAUFEYSON:

1\. sing "ice ice baby" whenever his skin turns blue

2\. Whenever there's a horse nearby drag him away screaming, "NO I DON'T TRUST, NOT AFTER LAST TIME"

3\. Change his ring tone to Lorde's "we will never be royals"

4\. Pester him about why he never before realized he wasn't an ODINSON since "y'know, the hair?"

5\. Throw him in front of fangirls, watch as chaos unfolds.

6\. Paint his sceptre thingy with "pretty flowers"

7\. Leave sloppy love poems for him anonymously

8\. Read the best out loud to the avengers

9\. Braid his hair in his sleep

on the tesseract


	7. bruce

WAYS TO ANNOY BRUCE BANNER:

1\. Sing "don't worry, be happy" whenever he walks in

2\. Put "baby" by Justin Beiber on a loop. All. Night. Long.

3\. colour his face with green sharpie

4\. Keep telling him the other guy is way more awesome

5\. make sure the first thing he sees when he wakes up is a furby

6\. Seriously though, he is especially scared of the purple ones

7\. If he drops something, yell "HULK SMASHED"

8\. Mimicking his every move really badly

9\. Call him green giant and ask if he has sweet corn

"HULK SMASH" his neck. Or just a pretty butterfly on his wrist.


	8. nick

WAYS TO ANNOY NICK FURY:

1\. Buy him a wig for Christmas

2\. Glue pink diamonds to his eye-patch

3\. Call him Nick Furry

4\. Slow WIFI

5\. Get him into a fight with Siri on his new iPhone

6\. Question him about EVERYTHING

7\. Remind him about how stupid he was about not finding out about HYDRA

8\. Hide in his blind spot

9\. Poke him while in his blind spot

10\. Play the Avengers theme tune when he walks down a corridor. If he asks why just say it looks dramatic.


	9. agent

WAYS TO ANNOY AGENT COULSON:

1\. Ask him if the reason he is so angry with Loki is that he broke his heart

2\. Keep asking him about TAHITI

3\. Any time he adresses himself as Phil, remind him that his first name is in fact Agent

4\. Call him Mom

5\. Call him son of Coul

6\. Ask him if TAHITI stands for [insert random words]

7\. Ask him if he ever fangirls over Steve

8\. Ask him if Steve ever signed his cards

9\. Change his screen saver to "I LOVE STEVE ROGERS. HE IS HOT"

10\. Tell everyone that he blushes every time there is a conversation about Steve Rogers


	10. maria

WAYS TO ANNOY MARIA HILL:

1\. Refer to her as Robin Sparkles

2\. Ask her if her name is Hill because one of her parents is a hill

3\. Decorate her gun with flowers

4\. Whisper "hail HYDRA" In her ear

5\. Show everyone the Robin Sparkles video

6\. Make that her ringtone

7\. Insist on playing the avengers theme tune while she walks down a corridor

8\. find difficulty in pronouncing her name

9\. Tell the new recruits never to look in her eyes because her glare can kill a man

10\. Watch how I met your mother with her. Get her into it then... SPOIL THE ENDING


	11. Chapter 11

PLEASE READ THIS:

I am typing this from the hospital i am currently in. My attempts at annoying Banner were in fact successful, so much that he did hulk-out and i ended up with a broken arm. before this i did everything listed for Natasha and Thor- The God of Thunder no longer shares poptarts with me. On the plus side, everyone loves the Robin Sparkles video, especially Nick who has warmed to his newly decorated eye-patch...

I found out that in 6th grade Clint had to play the role of Juliet in a school production; i am currently using this information as blackmail. As a result he randomly makes bird noises which are amusing to watch.


	12. bucky

**not an avenger but oh well**

WAYS TO ANNOY BUCKY BARNES:

1\. Start quoting Loin King "remember who you are"

2\. Stick fridge magnets on his arm

3\. Force him to watch you show him "the real way" of putting eye-liner on

4\. Make robotic sound effects whenever he moves his arm

5\. Plait his hair

6\. Play buckyroo. (See how many magnetic things will stick to his arm before they fall off- or until Bucky pulls them off)

7\. Leave Bucky/Steve fanfic and fanart all over his room

8\. Graffiti his arm in the quotations of your desire, for example "I 3 Steve Rogers"

9\. Hug him endlessly, occasionally saying "my little murdering machine"

10\. Get him emotionally invested in TV shows, then around half way through it SPOIL the ending


	13. Grant Ward

**not an **

**avenger but oh well**

WAYS TO ANNOY WARD:

1\. make his guns an ounce too heavy right before an assignment

2\. tell him he's basically a Nazi

3\. whisper "hail SHIELD" in his ear

4\. tell him that Skye will never love him

5\. nail his foot to the floor

6\. tell everybody you ship him with Garrett

7\. remind him of that time with Lorelei

8\. shave his head

9\. sing smooth criminal whenever he enters the room

10\. go to his new cell and sing "I am so lonely" next to his cell. do this louder and louder when he tries to go to sleep


End file.
